missing.

Today, God helped me figure out/opened my eyes to why I can't be at camp all year. Coming back to school was so difficult. Because I wanted to still be at camp. I missed it, I still do. I miss the morning watches, I miss my staff. I miss Joshua Youth Camp. I miss not having to shower on a daily basis (there. I said it. I enjoy being dirty and smelly). I miss not having to think about my outfits and just wearing jeans and a staff shirt for 10 days straight. I miss dressing wacky on hump day and having overall good Wednesdays and Thursdays. I miss the families we work for. I miss having worship every night. I miss driving an obscene number of miles on a daily basis in Bruno with my windows down and music up. I miss using power tools and doing construction. I even miss lumber deliveries. I miss being able to see the stars at night. I miss our campers. I miss the families we work for. I miss the intentional Christ-centered community and the family that God formed among us by the end of each week. I think it's safe to say that I miss it all.

I didn't want to leave, and when I got back to school, I had a hard time adjusting. At camp, my faith was nearly handed to me. Strictly because of the nature of my job and the people we worked for/with and the places we worked in, I felt like I was wearing "God-goggles" all day long. It was nearly impossible not to see God in things.

I love Carolina. I love my roommate and my friends, the marching band, (most of) my classes, the Wesley Foundation. But regardless, coming back to school felt like someone had yanked my God-goggles off and snapped them in half. How was I supposed to see God when I wasn't having morning watch every morning, doing construction work to help people who really need it during the day, and having sharing and worship nearly every night of the week? How was I supposed to feel God's presence without my other seven staff members uplifting me every day? I know that I was being irrational and stubborn and that God is just as much here at Carolina as he is at CCC, but it was still hard.

I came across 2 Corinthians 4:7 while reading a devotion today, and I looked up The Message translation:

If you only look at us, you might well miss the brightness. 

We carry this precious Message around in the unadorned clay pots of our ordinary lives.

Reading this passage felt like the answer I didn't know I'd been looking for was staring right back up at me. My time at CCC this summer was so far from ordinary life. And while most days recently it has feelt like my life is far from organized and calm, it's mostly ordinary (especially compared to CCC), And God gave me my time at CCC this summer so that it could shine out of my unadorned-clay-pot life back here at Carolina. 

So while I'm not wearing the same God-goggles I had on at camp, I still try every day to wear some. Because God is still here and still real and still moving in ways that I have seen some of and can't wait to see more of. And my prayer is that my extraordinary time from this summer will  shine and that I won't soon let myself forget it. 

pride.

I love the CCC ministry in its entirety, and one of the aspects of it that I particularly like is the concept of CMGs (Christian Mission Groups). These are the work groups for the week, and they're made of people from different church groups who probably didn't know one another before beginning their week at CCC. A CMG becomes a family by the end of the week, and God fits each person into the group in their own unique way. It's something that's really incredible to watch from the sidelines as the week progresses. 

Not only do the CMGs form a really unique bond, they work hard as a team on the worksites. As a field coordinator, I am responsible for planning out projects, securing the right amount of paint or lumber or other materials when necessary, drawing plans when needed, and making sure CMGs leave camp with all the proper tools. So during the day, I would go visit my groups and check up on them and sometimes pitch in on the work when needed, but the CMG does the majority of the actual work on the project. What I really love about this is that the CMG is able to take a little more ownership in the physical completion of the project than they would be able to if I had been with them on the worksite for the entire day. 

That said, I made it a point on an almost daily basis to ask my CMGs if they were proud of themselves and the work they had done, or tell them that I was proud of them and their work. So on Friday nights at the end of every camp week, we had a time for the CMGs to reflect as a group on their week and exchange notes of encouragement, etc. So the very last Friday night of the summer, I went around one last time and asked all three of my CMGs if they were proud of what they'd done that week. I got to my third and final group, and in response to my question, one of the campers from that CMG looked me square in the eye and said, "I'm proud of what God has done this week."

After about 2 seconds of processing, I looked back at him and said, "You're exactly right, and that's an amazing thing to be proud of." 

His words stuck with me, however. As I went through the rest of the evening I kept thinking about them and couldn't quite shake them. The simple 9 words that this 13-year-old said to me hit me harder than several things had in the entire summer and made me realize that I had been asking the wrong questions to my CMGs for the whole summer. 

When we do mission work like what we do at CCC, we are physically doing the labor, but what's really happening is that we are the hands and feet and mouths of Christ, and He is working in us and through us to show His love to those who need it. The projects we do are not our projects: it's not my kitchen floor repair or wheelchair ramp or yardwork job. They're not the CMG's projects. They're not CCC's projects. They're God's projects. It is so easy to get caught up in the manual labor and the physical work of the project that we forget why we're there and who we're working for. 

So to a degree, my CMGs should have been proud of their projects. How many high schoolers can say that over their summer they paid to go on a trip and build a wheelchair ramp, repair a kitchen floor, paint a house, build a set of steps, and spend time in fellowship with people who are not ordinarily shown God's love by other members of society? Not many. It's a neat thing to be a part of. And I am proud of the work they did, the love they showed to each other and the families they worked for, and the way they were knit together into a family by each week's end. But I wasn't responsible for any of that--I can't take any of that credit, because it was all the man upstairs. So it took me until the end of the summer to learn this lesson, but I am incredibly grateful that I did and it's not one I will soon forget.

know whose you are

(preface to this blog: growing up, my mother's catchphrase has always been"remember who you are and whose you are". I can't count the number of times I've heard that phrase in my 20 years on this earth--whenever I leave to go somewhere, both times I've said goodbye to my parents when they moved me in to UNC...in short, I've heard it a lot. I think I even wrote a college application essay on it, but anyways. Who am I? I am Alecia Ann Johnson, I am Meg and Doug's daughter, I am Lainey and Blaine's sister, etc. Whose am I? I am a Child of God, and this means that I am His hands and feet and mouth wherever I may roam on His earth.)

I was having a Monday. I was frazzled and frustrated and wondering how on earth I was going to get everything done and still make it back to camp to be at dinner on time. After leaving a neighborhood where I had just visited someone, I pulled off into a church parking lot to get my bearings and figure out where I was headed next. I wish I had taken a picture of the church, because the building and parking lot combined couldn't have been bigger than a single-wide trailer. It was a church nonetheless, and I had driven past it at least once that day without paying it much mind. So when I looked up through Bruno's windshield at the church's sign sitting right in front of me that said, "Know Whose You Are!!", it was enough to make me stop and step back from everything I was so tangled up in that day. You see, I had been trying to do it alone--to bear the burdens of our campers and the people we work for, trying to fix all of the problems I came across without first turning to God for help and guidance. 

Sitting there in that church parking lot looking at the church sign made me take a step back and put things in perspective: I'm not alone in this walk. I don't have to do this by myself, because God is going behind, beside, and before me every step of the way. Not only was this sign a reminder of God's constant presence and provision in my work at CCC this summer, it was a reminder of my parents. One of the challenges of my job is being apart from my family and not being able to talk to them as much as I'd like. So not only was this sign a reminder of what all God can do, it was a reminder of my awesome parents and their constant support of me. I'm pleased to say that the remainder of my Monday went much smoother than it had started out. Seeing the church sign was enough to take me down a notch off of my high horse and keep me mindful of the fact that there's no way I can do this without help.

On Tuesday and Wednesday, one of my CMG's had the two-day project of replacing the vinyl underpinning on a trailer for a lady named Ms. Shepard. Ms. Shepard is quite talkative and really friendly, but she gets lonely because she lives by herself, so the CMG got to spend a lot of time talking with her and giving her a break from that. As I was on my way to visit this CMG on Tuesday, I got a call from their adult leader asking about a newspaper reporter that was there with the group and had some questions about CCC. I was slightly confused because although we try to do a lot of this sort of publicity at CCC, I was almost certain that there wasn't a scheduled visit to my group that day. When I arrived at the worksite and began to talk to Mr. Freeze (the reporter), I found out that he was a volunteer delivering Ms. Shepard's Meals on Wheels and he was also a reporter for the Salisbury Post. When he got to Ms. Shepard's and saw the CMG there, he began to talk to them and decided to write an article about CCC. God sure does work in funny ways sometimes! Check the article out here :)

Ms. Shepard's home with new underpinning and crawlspace doors!

I'm headed back tomorrow to start prepping for camp week 3! I'm not sure how I feel about this summer slipping away so fast, but I am absolutely having the time of my life. Thanks for your continued prayers and love!

whirlwind week 1


Well, I survived my first week! I had a truly incredible time and learned so so SO much from our staff, our campers, and the people we were serving. At camp, on certain nights of the week, we have sharing. In a nutshell, the purpose of sharing is to share (hence the name) with the group where you might have seen God that day. Nobody has to share, but anybody can share. I saw God in several places throughout the first week--the obvious ones: our campers, the people we work for, my staff family, etc etc, but I also saw God in some less than expected places. For example, one of the many things I learned this week was my way around Albemarle and the five counties we work in. I did a lot of driving, and as you may know, Bruno the little red truck does not have functioning air conditioning. Most days I don't mind this at all--it gives me an excuse to ride with the windows down and play my music loud. 


As I was driving around, however, I was struck by the radio stations I ended up listening to. I had full signal nearly everywhere I went for the same radio stations I listen to in Charlotte. I was as far east as Biscoe and Jackson Springs and as far north as Salisbury, and I could still  listen to the stations I am familiar with from back home. I didn't even have to change the presets. 


So yay for Alecia not having to find new radio stations to listen to--so what? So I saw God in that, that's what. I all too often catch myself mentally separating myself and my family and friends from the people we work for. It just doesn't seem logical that we would be the same on any level--these people need help, they need work done, and they're just not the same as me. In reality, however, I am no different than them. Maybe we listen to the same radio stations, maybe we don't. But we are each and every one of us Children of God, and that is a beautiful thing. 

happy hump day from the JYC staff!

Joshua Youth Camp 2012!

So I'm home from staff training and attempting to get my brain back in order before I head back for the first round of camp! I found out last Tuesday that I'll be at Joshua Youth Camp in Albemarle, North Carolina this summer. Of the 5 possible camp locations that I could have been placed at, this one is the closest to my home in Charlotte. Coming in to staff training, I was kinda hoping for something more towards the mountains because I love it up there, but JYC has already stolen my heart and I can tell without a doubt that it is exactly where I need to be. It's going to be a challenge for me to see all of this need that is almost in my own backyard, and I'd imagine that's part of God's reasoning for placing me here. 

I shared this with the staff on Saturday evening, but I was more than a little scared coming into staff training. Of the 40 people that are on staff at CCC this summer, there are two people (myself and someone else) who have never been on staff or even a CCC camper. Not only did this mean that I had a very steep learning curve, but it also meant that I didn't know a single person. I was worried that I would have trouble getting to know people or establishing myself in pre-existing groups or even just fitting in. I was worried that I would  be too Jesus-y or not Jesus-y enough. Within just a few minutes of arriving at Camp Loy White, all of these worries were put to rest. I'm sure that somewhere up in heaven, God was having a nice little chuckle at why I was even scared in the first place, because I felt at home with the staff right away. Every single person was honest, genuine, and welcoming, and I knew that I was silly for worrying about anything to begin with. 

At training, we had worship every evening as the last thing to finish out our day. By the time worship rolled around, we were all exhausted and ready to just go to bed, but each worship turned out to be just what I needed at that point in time. The theme for our worships was "expect": expect to be amazed, expect to fail, expect to matter, expect His will to be done, expect trials and expect joy, and expect GOD. The worship that focused on expecting God's will to be done was one that really spoke to me the most. When we walked in we were handed a sheet of paper with "my plans" written across the top, and the rest of the paper was blank lines. As soon as I was handed that sheet of paper, my mind started to race and to fill with plans that I have for myself: to be the hands and feet of God this summer, to go back to Haiti, to graduate from Carolina, to teach somewhere outside the US,  to teach middle school math, to get married and raise a family...the list went on. We didn't write anything on our sheets just yet, but my brain was moving a zillion miles a minute nonetheless. As worship progressed, we were encouraged to think about what all if would mean to offer that future t(hat we have a tendency to plan out every last detail of) and completely surrender it to God. To leave ourselves completely up to His will--and to leave the sheet of paper for our plans completely and totally blank. 

So I did it. I walked up to the altar and left it completely blank except for signing my name at the very bottom edge of the paper and then I placed inside our altar, the top of which read "expect His will to be done". At first it was scary. But then, I thought about all of the things that God has done in my life that I didn't have planned for myself. And then it was exciting. 

Yall, I am still so so so excited for this summer, and probably even more so than I was when I left for training 12 days ago. I'm expecting to be amazed, I'm expecting to fail but to be lifted up and supported by my fellow staff members when I do, I'm expecting to matter and to make others know that they matter, I'm expecting trials and for joy to come from them, and I'm expecting His will to be done. I'm expecting God. 

If you'd like to write me at camp, I would love that! My address is:

Carolina Cross Connection

Alecia Johnson

Joshua Youth Camp

29387 Pennington Road

Albemarle, NC 28001

Please continue to pray for our staff at JYC as well as the other CCC staffs, our campers, the people we will work with and for this summer, and for the people we will reach in ways we don't expect and without realizing it. 

my lovely staff family for the summer!

tomorrow!

In the New Testament, the book of Acts has 28 chapters. For the most part, Acts details the goings-on of the apostle Paul after the death of Jesus and the history of the early church. Sometime last summer, I heard a sermon that encouraged us as listeners to live our lives as if they were the 29^th chapter of the book of Acts. That is, your entire life should be worthy of recording as acts of one of Christ’s disciples. That concept, of our lives being extensions of the book of Acts, has really stuck with me since I heard that sermon.

This summer, I’m working as a field coordinator at Carolina Cross Connection (www.carolinacrossconnection.org--check it out!) and while I would hope that all aspects of my life are “29^th chapter worthy”, I’m hoping that my work this summer will be very much worth sharing and talking about. Now, by no means does this mean that I think my life is more worthy of talking about than anyone else's, because that's certainly not the case at all! I just want to share and I like this crafty title. So that, in a nutshell, is my main purpose of starting this blog—a way to keep my friends and family and prayer partners and such updated about what all I’ll be up to this summer.

So as of when I’m writing this, it’s t-13 hours until I leave for staff training (and I’m not packed yet!) and I’m an absolute whirlwind of emotions. I’m a little bit nervous because I’m going into this with a pretty steep learning curve and without knowing many of the other staff members. I’m hesitant to even think about writing this one out, but I’m already a little bit worried that this summer is going to go by way faster than I want it to. But that’s beside the point! More than anything, I am incredibly and overwhelmingly excited for the summer and what all God has in store. Really. I’m not sure I’ve been this excited about something, ever. It’s more exciting than Christmas when you’re in second grade. It’s more exciting than getting into Carolina (okay, that’s a stretch. But it’s up there.) You get the idea. I’m really super excited.

I’m planning to update this blog every other week during my time off from camp, and I’ll be sure to let you know when I do. Thanks for reading my ramblings, and your prayers are certainly welcomed and appreciated. Pray for me and my fellow staff members, for this summer’s CCC campers, for the people we’ll be working for, and that God works in all sorts of exciting and unexpected ways for all of us this summer.

Peace & Prayers,

Alecia